1. |
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If god were an onion I hope he’d be sweet
And beam down some chicken wings to land at my feet
His creatures taste delicious with the right hot sauce
To clean them from your teeth requires dental floss
And little bits of chicken flink on my mirror
And all of gods creatures are delicious with beer
The tuna is the swiftest of the fishes in the sea
Most delicious of them all is known as ahi
Their big eyes never blink and they never show fear
All of gods creatures are delicious with beer
If god were a bread I hope he’d be wry
And tell me he was kiddin’ when he said we’d all die
But when animals die I never shed a tear
All of gods creatures are delicious with beer
There are bullions and buillions and bullions and bullions of creatures
Lettuce all pray to the great rib eye in the sky
Who makes food so easy to catch pick stab chew and broil
And fills up our plates with mammals and birds that can’t fly
If god were a drink I hope he’d be chilled
If god were red wine then his blood would be spilled
Spices were alive at one point in time
So why ain’t abusing them a capital crime
Darwin long ago made it perfectly clear
All of gods creatures are delicious with beer
The bigger the brains the harder to catch
The smaller they are the bigger the batch
If you all agree then stand up and cheer
All of gods creatures are delicious with beer
If I buy some pig I go for the belly
But bacon is forsaken when prosciutto’s in the deli
When I’m carvin’ the meat keep your fingers clear
Cuz all of gods creatures are delicious with beer
If you all agree then stand up and cheer
All of gods creatures are delicious with beer
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2. |
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I like your coffee
I like your money
I think You’re funny
Like Moamar Khadafi
Pour me moamar moamar coffee
I feel a little sketchy
I feel a little wiggy
Like a muppet named Piggy
Or Chevy Chase in Fletchy
Fletch Fletch Fetch Fletch Fetch me more coffe
Moamar Moamar Moamar Coffee
Cough Cough Cough Cough Pass Me A Ciggy
Pig Piggy Cook the Pig Bacon and a Ciggy
Goat Get Goat Get Me Somethin’ for the greasy
Iguana stay home but it ain’t that easy
Go to sleep early and you wake up happy
Got to goat to work so you start to feel nappy
Iguana stay home but it ain’t that easy
Bacon in the pan just a drippin’ with the greasy
Mmm Hmm
Right around noon you begin to feel nappy
Purple feet stomp the grapes in the Napa Valley
And when you wake up your eyes are stuck together
From the stuff that oozes from the corner of your eyeballs
I like your coffee
I like your money
I think You’re funny
Like Moamar Khadafi
Pour me moamar moamar coffee
I feel a little sketchy
I feel a little wiggy
Like a muppet named Piggy
Or Chevy Chase in Fletchy
Fletch Fletch Fetch Fletch Fetch me more coffee
Moamar Moamar Moamar Coffee
There’s nothin’ like a fine swine to make a meal complete
Dead pig Dead pig my favorite food to eat
How to I love pigs let me count the ways
Bacon
Ham
Sausage
Pork chops
Pork roast
Pork medallions
Pork tenderloin
Liverwurst
Bratwurst
Bockwurst
Knockwurst
Pigs in a blanket
and Pickled Pigs Feet
I’ll eat the holy swine any way I can
I’ll eat the holy swine any way I can
I’ll eat the holy swine any way I can
Bacon Bacon FBI CIA Eating Bay-can
And if you’re really lucky you get the chewy snout
But that’s only in China so don’t just spit it out
I like your coffee
I like your money
I think You’re funny
Like Moamar Khadafi
Pour me moamar moamar coffee
Coffee and Khadafi
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3. |
Jupiter's Tits
02:40
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Divine pine show a sign
A starlit streak by Jupiter in the half-moon light
I wake up and step outside with Scorpius in the southern summer solstice sky alive like no time exists as I drift beyond the Milky Way, Antares falls beneath the bristles on the horizon
/Chorus
Antares is the coolest star
Burgundy like my guitar
If it would sit where the sun exists
It's edges would tickle Jupiter's tits
Nesting under stunted oak
Taking hits of campfire smoke
Can't remember who last spoke
Staring at the glowing coals
Seeing just beyond my nose
Whistling as it blows
Wind through trees
Blue Jay pointy toes
/Chorus repeat
Empty beers and melted ice
Historic signs of paradise
The trees are ash and the hashbrowns are cashed
And one last drag and no mustache
/Chorus repeat
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4. |
Tumble Dry
02:36
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Speed slowly while you're crossing the street
Speak loudly when your down on the beat
Scream into the microphone nobody's home!
Eyes are red while you're drivin' the car
Someone sitting in your place at the bar
Scream into the microphone
Drive fast and stay under the radar
Good thing I'm not drinking
I'm famous for the way that I'm sinking
Don't let a good thing get away
Counting stars and satellites
Hope is high for more meteorites
Scorpius is a waterfall that dries up in the daylight
Good thing I'm not drinking
I'm famous for the way that I'm sinking
Don't let a good thing get away
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S'aint Willy Bend, Oregon
Happy songs make happy people. At least that's my theory.
~ S'aint Willy
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